Birthdays are special. And if you’ve ever neglected a friend’s, partner’s, or loved one’s birthday, you know how distressing that can be.
There’s not just the painful realization, but you may carry around some guilt for days. What are you supposed to do when that’s happened?
Five Ways to Make Up for a Forgotten Birthday
There aren’t many hurtful things that outdo the missed birthday of someone you love and care about. One could say it’s a fairly minor sin, and common too.
On the other hand, certain people take it incredibly badly and feel utterly offended and disrespected. Here’s how you can start to make up for it.
1. Acknowledge it Right Away
Realizing you forgot a birthday can make you want to curl up in a ball and hide in the corner for the next month. But as awkward and uncomfortable as it feels, you should acknowledge the offense as soon as possible.
Don’t send a text, email, DM, or letter. Pick up the phone and call, at the very least. If possible, go see the other person face to face.
When you apologize, don’t try to insert a million excuses, or even a single one – which tends to make you appear as if you’re trying to justify your mistake. Make your apology as honest and remorseful as you can. Own up to the mistake and ask for forgiveness.
You should never copy and paste someone else’s apology, of course, but this offers a good example of what an honest one would look like:
“Mary, I’m so sorry that I forgot your birthday yesterday. There’s no excuse. I’ve let my own busy schedule keep me from being intentional with the people that mean the most to me. I know that must have been incredibly hurtful. I want to apologize and ask for your forgiveness.”
Notice how there aren’t any excuses. There is a small potential explanation, yes, but it’s not framed as an excuse. The emphasis remains on the apology.
2. Send Flowers
Few gestures communicate you’re sorry as well as flowers do. After you’ve apologized, order local flower delivery to your friend’s house or office.
Work with a local florist to ensure a fresh arrangement will be sent quickly (and looks fresh). This isn’t going to make up for the fact that you forgot the birthday, but it’s another sign that you’re thinking about them and are truly contrite about your oversight.
3. Take Them Out to Dinner
Although your friend might not want to join you for dinner immediately, allow at least a few days to pass, then invite them out, your treat. Getting to sit down together and share a drink and a meal is a great way to mend any fences that might have been damaged.
During the dinner, make sure the conversation stays focused on the other person. Do more listening than talking. This night should be all about celebrating your friend!
4. Send a Thoughtful Present
After you’ve sent flowers right away, you might also buy the individual a thoughtful birthday present. This is not the time for a gift card or anything of that sort. It must be a gift that has meaning.
A thoughtful gift is vital, but that doesn’t mean you necessarily have to spend a ton of money. You’re not trying to go broke; just show you care!
5. Add Their Birthday to Your Calendar
You get one “gimme” per friend or loved one – and you just used yours with this particular individual. Whatever you do, you mustn’t forget their birthday next year (or any time within the next decade).
It’s a good idea to put some proactive measures in place to prevent this from happening again. The first step is to add the anniversary to your phone’s calendar with a notification. This will ensure you continue to see it year after year.
For an extra layer of protection, you could also schedule an email to be sent to yourself on their birthday next year. Schedule it to send at 7 a.m. so you can be one of the first to wish them a happy birthday.
Add It All Up
Missing a birthday is awkward, embarrassing, and disappointing. And though you can’t rewind and change the past, you can control your response.
By acknowledging your omission and going above and beyond to make the situation right, you will ensure your friend or loved one feels cared for and appreciated once more.
Keep being AllDayChic!
